Corrosion Definitions

Corrosion—the process whereby manmade structures revert to their natural state (a modern version of the torture of Sisyphus rolling a lump of ore up the energy hill).

Corrosion Engineer—an individual of extraordinarily fine judgment who, by virtue of education and/or experience, knows all manner of fascinating things, some related to corrosion and its control.

Cathodic Disbondment—an extremely rare phenomenon that is the foregone conclusion of formulators and applicators to explain the failure of poorly formulated and/or applied coating, regardless of whether protective current is present.

Digital Voltmeter—a black box containing a random number generator designed to test the faith of the corrosion engineer.

Direct Assessment—the process of determining the condition of a buried structure by applying a combination of decidedly indirect measurement
techniques.

Fluidized Bed—a bladder control problem, typically
outgrown by puberty.

Free Corrosion Potential—a corrosion potential that is measured without additional expense as part of a lump sum fee.

Hydrogen Ion Film—an audio-visual aid that explains polarization.

Inert—not ert.

Interrupter—a device that thrives on attention, cycling applied current flawlessly while observed but dying of loneliness while the corrosion engineer travels to the first remote test point.

Non-corrosive—a term applied to environments that consist of pure fantasy.

Polarity Convention—the annual event where physicists argue with engineers about signs and directions when they cannot find the meeting hall.

Protective Coating—a material that adheres tenaciously when applied to a surface that has been painstakingly prepared, at considerable expense, by careful cleaning and establishment of the precise anchor pattern with the appropriate depth and shape, and even more tenaciously to skin, hair, clothing, and any unintended structure.

from Tales from a Career in Corrosion Control by Norm Moriber
Materials Performance February, 2002